YOU WILL DIE, IT’S HILARIOUS. OMG
Ask yourself what you are worried about if same-sex marriage is legalized. Whatever your answer is, ask yourself if you really believe what you just came up with. Homosexuality is not going to spread. It is not communicable. Society is not going to turn into a Lady Gaga video. Most gay couples I know are just as boring as you and I. They sit on the couch and watch television. They work at the post office, the hospital, the grocery store, and at real estate agencies, just like heterosexuals do. They eat out at restaurants and shop at Target. Many have pot bellies and don’t have much fashion sense, just like me. They own pets, and go to church. They volunteer, sing Christmas carols, and buy Girl Scout cookies. What are you afraid of? What is going to change by allowing these people to commit to one another and enjoy the benefits that you and I enjoy: tax breaks, insurance breaks, bereavement leave, medical leave to care for a sick partner, domestic violence protection, visitation of partner in the hospital, burial determination, medical decisions on behalf of partner. Really sexy stuff. You and I take these things for granted. Nobody wants to go through life not knowing how they will deal with some of these difficult moments in life. Imagine if you were denied any of the above rights when the time came for you and your spouse to exercise that right? I’ll tell you what it would feel like. It would feel like you were a second-class citizen.
Let me tell you something about Jacob Black. We were best friends in high school. I know, right? It’s so embarrassing. I don’t even… Whatever. So then after junior year, I started going out with my first boyfriend Edward who was totally gorgeous but then he abandoned me, and Jacob was like, weirdly jealous of him. Like, if I would blow him off to hang out with Edward, he’d be like, “Why didn’t you call me back?” And I’d be like, “Why are you so obsessed with me?” So then, for my birthday party, which was an all-vampire party, I was like, “Jacob, I can’t invite you, because I think you’re werewolf.” I mean I couldn’t have a werewolf at my party. There were gonna be vampires there in their *evening wear*. I mean, right? He was a WEREWOLF. So then his dad called my dad and started yelling at him, it was so retarded. And then he dropped out of his pack because no one would talk to him, and he came back in the fall for the big war, all of his hair was cut off and he was totally weird, and now I guess he imprints on babies.
Pop-punk is for pudgy self-haters. Hardcore sucks worse than it did 10 years ago, which seemed impossible at the time. Punk is now Green Day. Indie rock is the new Ke$ha. Chillwave is for former swoop-hair kids who’ve aged out of their scene. Shoegaze is the new jazz music, meaning people only pretend to like it. Bands with earnest, gruff vocals are the new swoop-hairbands. Everything you like really truly sucks.
Do you know what all the sentences above have in common? Besides the fact that they’re true, I mean. Can’t guess? OK, here’s what links those ideas:
You shouldn’t care. You shouldn’t validate them by arguing. You should ignore them completely.
There’s only one thing worse in this whole world than a misguided nerd, and that’s an apologetic one. You like what you like. You should always be looking to expand your palate but, at the end of the day, you can’t force it.
If you’re into Saves The Day, you’re into it. There’s no need to put on airs or dress it up. And if you like ignorant mosh music, it’s just part of your DNA. You’ll probably always like it. Don’t hide your Hatebreed lyric tattoos. Maybe you still dye your hair colors not found in nature. Don’t hide your Mindless Self Indulgence tattoo. Or that ICP hatchetman logo on your ankle.
Here’s the thing. As lame as everything I listed at the beginning of this essay is, the stuff people believe to be cool is just as corny. Hardcore kids want to be indie rockers; indie rockers want to be house DJs. Someone put it in their heads that they should always be chasing cool. It’s all a crock. There is no “cool.” It just doesn’t exist. Chasing it makes you uncomfortable in your own skin and paints you as an insecure clown to the rest of the world.
I’m confident everything you like sucks. I know it. But there is not a reason in the world you should care about my opinion. There’s no reason you should value ANY person’s opinion over what your ears tell you. Never change for the guy at the record store, the geek in a popular band, or some faceless blog. Don’t bother defending your position. Just like what you like.
I could say this to a few wonderful people I know!